Just a few thoughts...

I just find it odd how much we trust our senses to the point where we just accept everything we see as real. I know, I know, it's hugely philosophical and pretentious and having never studied philosophy, I'm probably going to wind up sounding incredibly stupid but I just wonder why we do this?

Say for example, you take a hallucigenic drug and your perceptions of things are altered. Colours, sizes...everything seems fucked up and wrong and you 'know' that what you are seeing is 'not real' purely because it doesn't look like what you see on a day-to-day basis. It looks different.

But we only perceive things as being 'normal' and 'right' because we are used to them and we accept them as 'the way things are', therefore 'real'. For example, dogs only see things in black and white, so dogs theoretically must believe that the world IS black and white. You couldn't explain colour to a dog because they are not capable of seeing colour therefore they wouldn't be able to imagine it. So then, how do we know that what we see and hear and feel and smell is necessarily the truth? How do we know that our senses are not limited in a way similar to a dogs? We will never know because we can't outsmart ourselves. It is impossible. So we just have to assume that what we see is the truth. But we also have to be open to the fact that it might not be, and that is what so many people find so hard to grasp.

It's like with beauty. Me and my best friend both have 'perfect' vision. We don't wear glasses, we don't need hearing aids, our teeth and tastebuds have never been tampered with and it's safe to say that we are both in 'good' shape. We are the perfect human beings ;) So then, why do I look at someone, a boy, and think that he is the most gorgeous person in the world and she looks at the same person and sees something ugly? We are both looking at the exact same thing, both of us with 'good healthy' eyes and we see something completely different. It's perception. Opinion if you like. Only it isn't an opinion because we don't CHOOSE who we find attractive. We don't DECIDE. We just DO. We can't help it. Sometimes we want to see the beauty in someone and we can't.

I don't know why.

It's like with plastic surgery. Suppose I changed everything about myself and I love the results - there will be people who think I am uglier. It's pointless changing yourself because roughly, according to the laws of average, 50% of people will prefer you before and 50% will prefer you after, due to their individual perceptions.

It stands to reason then, that we all see the world differently, and that while soe of it us find some parts beautiful and ugly according to our taste, we are all limited in areas that we will never know the true scale of.

I was also thinking, you know, what is the 'meaning of life'? What is the point in humans being here really? Everybody tells me that we are simply here to reproduce, to make more life, to have sex and have babies and bring them up so that they can have sex and have babies and the cycle can continue.

But what no one can seem to grasp is my point - what is the point in there being life if the only reason is to make more of it? Why would life exist in the first place if the whole point is to carry on reproducing. I mean, let's say we reached a point where we were all immortal so there was no need to reproduce. What would be the point in life then? No one seems to have the answers.

I came up with my own, and in my head it is the only possible solution.

The point of life is to be happy. Not to be rich because you can't take money with you. Not to be some sort of hero or to have an impressive sounding job because really, when you die, you won't remember how impressed everyone was with you - ultimately, the point is to enjoy yourself. Everyday is a gift, and I'm not talking about from God, I'm talking about the fact that we have been given so many years to do whatever we please with, and then it is certain that our time on Earth will come to an end. So how could the point be anything but to enjoy the time we have here?

Yes, it could be to improve the planet etc etc but when all the improvements have been made, all the reproductions reproduced, what is left? The need to appreciate what we have in this life. To enjoy it.

Ok, not that that made a huge deal of sense when put into words but yeah, that's it.

Places I want to visit before I die:

Spain (again)

Paris (again)

Camden (again)

Cornwall

Italy

Amsterdam

Helsinki

Germany

Switzerland

Malta

Africa

India

Jamaica

The rest of the Caribbean

New York (Manhattan)

New York (Brooklyn)

Thailand

A lot lot lot more (L) xx

A list of my favourite films:

Blow

The Beach

Sid and Nancy

Memoirs of a Geisha

Coyote Ugly

Alpha Dog

Never Back Down

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Titanic

GLUE

American Pie

I am seeing Coco before Chanel soon!

Soon I start to read The Beach, I can't wait!

I am going to Chris's gig on Thursday. The Minx. He gave me an album so I'm gonna give it a listen. Elbow might be there, and The Enemy, and Twisted Wheel and Kid British. And Agyness Deyn!