I really want

to come out of the other side of all this so that I can close the book on it and it will all just be a story to tell, albeit an unpleasent one. I don't want to still be in the middle of it, it is not a good book, it is badly written and the storyline is awful and I hate the main character, if this is my story then I want it to end so that I can start a new one. And maybe one day I can purge myself of the old (ie. current) one and be totally honest and tell people everything there is to know about me just to stop all the secrets and lies but until I am through it I can't so I will have to remain silent a little longer.