Jekyll and Hyde

I went to see The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the theatre yesterday and the subject matter got me thinking about the human condition and how multifaceted our personalities are. As Oscar Wilde said 'The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for' and as someone that constantly analyses not only myself but others as well, I have to say I agree. People are so complex and difficult to understand that we don't even understand ourselves half the time.
Having struggled with my own issues in the past (not been crazy in almost a year now, yay), I've done my soul searching and I have myself all worked out. I know why I was the way I was and because of that, I know that I had to go through the depression and all the other shit that used to go on in my head in order for me to be so strong and understanding now. Now, if I meet anybody who has the same or similar problems that I used to have I'm more understanding. My past has not only made me more rational about things but it's also allowed me to look more objectively at situations. I used to be self-centred but now I'm so selfless it's untrue. I love nothing more than helping my friends out when they're in trouble, and if there's ever a time when an argument I'm having with somebody impacts on my friends night in any way I am mortified because I simply am not that dramatic person that I used to be anymore.
I've changed and grown so much in the past year or two, having gone emotionally up and down more so than anybody ever should have to, but I really am grateful for it because having changed so much, it's enabled me to understand people's points of views more easily. From my old, egocentric point of view, I could only understand my own, but now, if I meet somebody who is similar to how I used to be I can think to myself 'How would I have interpreted this a year ago?' and better understand how to deal with the person and their situation.
It's brought my mother and I closer together, as we've had endless nights analysing ourselves over bottles of wine, but it's helped us, not only with being more open with each other but we've also discovered how differently we react to thinks and because of that found the best ways to avoid conflicts or misunderstandings.
Analysing yourself is never a bad thing. I would hate to be somebody that simply doesn't understand why they react to things differently to other people, someone who is simply a textbook case, a victim of their own emotions. Again, Oscar Wilde had an opinion on this too, saying 'I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.'
I still have days where I feel anxious for no reason at all, of course I do. I have days when the smallest thing stresses me out, like not knowing when I have a hair appointment or something, and even after I sort out whatever it is that's bothering me, my mind is still in overdrive, worrying about things that half an hour ago did not bother me in the slightest.
A year or two ago I would have let this keep me up at night, convincing myself that these problems were real and needed to be fixed, whereas now I can recognise that it's merely my head deciding to worry about trivial things and I can almost ignore it. I'll write a list of the things that are on my mind, go through them one by one and conclude that there really is nothing to worry about, and then I know logically that it's just my neurotransmitters going a bit crazy and that sooner or later I'll feel fine again. I wouldn't be able to do that had I not spent years looking at myself and figuring myself out.
I really do recommend a bit of self-analysis to everybody. God was the reason for my recovery from anxiety and depression but it's thanks to self-analysis that I've not gone back to it.