sleepless nights

All my life, I have been told that having a "good" ie. well paid, fancy sounding career, is all that matters, and that I must do well at school, college and university in order to achieve the "best for my potential". Ha!
You know, I have wasted months giving myself brainache over what kind of job pays well, that I could possibly enjoy. After deciding that I'm probably not going to make it as a writer, I entertained the idea of becoming a psychologist but something wasn't quite right. As much as I adored the idea of talking to and analyzing people, the thought of going to work in a suit and spending all day with men in suits, before coming home to make tea and watch Coranation Street almost made me want to commit suicide.
I don't want to be the Stepford Wife, staying at home cooking and cleaning, but I don't want to become a money craving, career obsessed lunatic either. I just want inner happiness, and for me, that doesn't exist in grey England.
Now don't get me wrong, I am proud to be from Manchester and I adore spending time in London, but it just doesn't satisfy me anymore. Yes, I love getting sweaty at a local gigs, shopping for the best clothes and sitting in backstreet cafes with a hot apple juice but it's getting to the point where I just want to delete the myspace, throw away the high heels and pack it all in.