I have a huge issue with the concept of touch.
People touching me.
When most people feel fragile, hurt or upset, they'd welcome a hug, a caress, a kiss or to make love to their partner (note my lexical choice of "make love" as oppose to "fuck") even more than the charts welcome Rihanna.
For some reason, I do not.
I can't stand it.
Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm the most touchy feely person you will ever meet but if I'm in a certain mindset (and don't ask me what that is because I can't describe it), and my boyfriend touches my leg or my stomach, I literally go ape shit for want of a better phrase. I can't bear it, I panic and shout at him to get off and if he carries on to try and calm me down I jump away as if I've been burned with a hot poker.
It's really weird.
I'm not even talking about sexual touching either, I mean any form of human contact is just too much to handle, the thought of having sex in that mindset is too disgusting and violating for me to even begin to comprehend.
I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything, I'm just curious as to why that is so I thought I'd write it down and make it real and not just something I've always felt but never faced.
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