For the first time

I actually feel pretty secure about who I am and what I've got. I have an amazing best friend who knows me absolutely inside out and lots of other brilliant people that ensure that each and every day is fun and different, whether I'm in the pub with Connor and Ieuan, watching Jake and Tal argue in my conservatory or having a coffee in bed with Claudia, they're all brilliant in their own ways and I'm so glad to have them all. 

Not many people know this but I've been on medication and in therapy for the past year or so and I've just stopped it all because I'm so much better, I have my God that understands and accepts me the way I am, I am going to study the thing that I am most passionate about at uni and hopefully will be living in Italy by this time next year and I'm even comfortable in my own skin, with my own weight and my own face and my own style, for the first time I don't feel fat or ugly anymore because I am realising that it isn't half bad to be me.

I have my blog, my books and my diary for those days when I can't be bothered going out and I just wanna sit around in an old Megadeth t-shirt and drink endless cups of coffee and I have my friends for when I do wanna go out, last night some of my closest friends came round and we all sat and drank in my conservatory and talked about God and suffering and sin and life for about 6 hours, tomorrow I'm going to my friend Kat's new flat for tea and then on Tuesday I'm going to Spain for three weeks with Ben to meet up with friends and get bronzed and beautiful, it is gonna be so good and I'm not sure if "happy" is the right word because I won't be truly happy until I'm living somewhere that I love and doing the things that I love but I am content and contentment is a feeling that is new to me and it is a very special feeling indeed.