Black Magic

I don't want "a career". Got into a bit of a heated debate this weekend with my friend Connor because he seems to think one can't be fulfilled unless they have a profession that enables them to earn a lot of money, or at least enough to be able to enjoy the finer things in life and never have to worry about being skint.

And I know that's what 99% of people want. But for some reason, and I can't explain why, but I never have. Having a job that I have to have a specific degree for, a job that will tie me down and have me stuck in one place answering to someone superior: that sounds like hell to me. All the money in the world wouldn't make a difference because as long as I'm not living in poverty and can afford the basics: food, clothes, a book every so often and trips to the pub, I'm happy. Connor seemed to think that my attitudes will change and that when I mature I'll come round to his way of thinking but I genuinely can't see that happening.

I have four main goals in life.

1) Fall in love, marry and have a wonderful family and a lovely circle of friends.

2) Travel the world and only settle when I find a country I am in love with.

3) Write. Write what exactly, I don't know. All I know is that I have to write. Whether I write a novel, get into journalism, reviews or even just become a serial blogger and make money by self-promotion, I don't know. All I know is that I must write. It might even be poetry. There is literally no direction in which I am leaning at the minute. Words are words.

4) Charity work. It's so important to me. I've wanted to volunteer in Africa since before I can even remember and I can't think of anything better than to improve people's lives, whether it's feeding the hungry, helping the addicted or rescuing the abused, it amazes me why more people don't at least donate to charity, never mind actually do something proactive.

As long as I'm happy with my social life, helping others and writing something, I don't care if my money comes from working in a bar or a cafe. I can't be fulfilled if I'm not making a difference. This past week has truly made me realise just how important doing something meaningful is to me. A family friend took me to an Emmaus cafe/shop and told me about the history of the charity and it amazed me. Meeting the men who work there was so uplifting and I felt ashamed that I sit and moan about my own life while these people have smiles on their faces bigger than I ever have done. In addition to that, I found out that there is an Emmaus shop literally around the corner from where I live in Salford so hopefully (!) I can start volunteering when I'm back at uni. I went to church this evening the the sermon was about helping people, feeding the poor, lifting people "from the dungeons" and it spoke to me so clearly and clarified that I definitely want to do that with my life. Praying for answers works :)